You can’t sell it and you can’t give it away
Against my better judgment, and at the expense of a Payday Loan article which I’m sure would have been eagerly accepted by the editor, I accompanied my wife to one of those TV shows. The hostess was Ellen DeGeneres and the best thing about the show was her logo – it is simply inspired. The noise was horrific and I came home with a splitting headache and a brand new car. I parked the car in the garage and went to bed. Next morning I found that the trunk of the car was packed with a set of suitcases and the suitcases were packed with goods ranging from canned tuna to boxes of tissues. I have a problem with my old car. It’s only six months old and there is nowhere one can sell a 6 month old car.
Another day, another prize
“Our supermarket is holding a draw and the first prize is a new car,” said my wife on the way to the front door. “Don’t even go there,” I grunted, deep in the selection of an appropriate adjective for an unusual noun. She came back with her face a deep shade of pink and holding a slip in her hand. “We have to go chose the color and then they will deliver it. Don’t get excited, Pete, the sponsors will do everything!”
Who’s gonna look for parking?
I am now the proud owner of 3 cars and no money to buy gas. Perhaps this article will sell and pay for a few liters… There’s someone at the door. Why, it’s Patty Perkins from the Sunday School committee. “Hello, Patty, what brings you here? Come in, it’s been a long walk for you. Darling, pour a glass of cold lemonade for Mrs. Perkins.”
The good news
“I’m the bearer of wonderful news.” My heart sank. “Remember that piano recital we held in March? You bought a raffle ticket there? Well, brace yourself, Peter, you have win the first prize – the Turquoise Toyota! Isn’t that wonderful? I choked out a few choice words. “Ha, Ha, does that car come with its own parking?”
The bad news
The doorbell rang again at about nine that evening. I was scared to answer it and peeked through the peephole. It was the downstairs neighbor, so I opened the door. “Move some of your cars, buddy, there’s no room for anyone else.”
More bad news
I took the train into work today; who has money for gas? There was meeting of the sales department and the news is grim. “Gentlemen, sales are down 23 percent and falling. We can afford only 2 more months like this and then I’m afraid we’ll have to start laying off. Get out there, guys and sell! Only one man among you managed to improve his figures and he wins this month’s prize of a new car complete with the company logo! Pete, will you come up here and shake my hand!” I stagger to the front of the room. “Wonderful achievement, Pete,” he says, crushing my hand. “You will drive home in your new Chev!” This is not a good time to tell him that I have half a return train ticket, so I keep quiet. A new car, lucky me!
Is it really impossible to give away a car?
Anyone want a brand new car? What color works for you?
